Fried brain

They say that multitasking is harmful to the brain. It actually burns away braincells and we can start to suffer from short term memory loss. I am living proof that this is the case. I have never been this forgetful in my life and I've never had to multitask and be 15 steps ahead of the game to this level before. It never stops, no breaks and it's essential for surviving the day without major break downs.

I had to go check on Lance as he's not very well right now and totally forgot that I was even writing this post. Not until now an hour and a half later did I realise that I'd not finished it. This is getting bad. I think I need to try and find some way of slowing down the speed of this. I feel like a total air head right now. Please tell me I'm not alone!

Xx

New normal

It's been 12 days since hubby went back to work and I've been 1 against 2. It's definitely been interesting, exhausting, challenging, busy, overwhelming to say the least. But I've got to say I'm well impressed with myself. I've managed to keep us all fed and alive. So what that we had hot dogs three days in a row and some nights 4 hours sleep is an accomplishment or that some moments I've cried louder than the kids.

It's been a huge adjustment for all of us. Lance has had to learn to share attention and wait for things. We've had good days with lots of quality time while Skye has been sleeping. He's been very helpful in putting stuff away, helping out wherever he safely can. And some more challenging days with tantrums and doing the opposite of what I asked him to do. Testing the boundaries in every way possible. I'm just trying to make sure he knows he is still just as important and special to me.

Skye is healthy and growing each day. She's had to be left in her cot crying while I've dealt with Lance from time to time. It was really tuff and listening to your baby crying for you is heartbreaking. But I realised that Lance deserves for me to be present when I'm helping him and for me to listen to what he's saying, even if it means Skye is on her own for 5 minutes.

So to sum up we are all alive and we are all trying to figure out our new normal!

We take one day at a time, since no two nights are the same.

Xx

Independence and dependence

As we welcomed our baby girl Skye into the family about two weeks ago, life just seemed to speed up. She is a healthy, hungry, sleepy and very loved wee soul. Lance adores her and has been the best big brother since day one. I'm so happy to see him as excited about her as we are.

It's safe to say we have been very busy for the past two weeks and trying to figure out how to get out and stimulate Lance at the same time as enjoying our new family dynamic before their daddy goes back to work.

It's strange how quickly Lance grew up and became so independent and confident. I think it's been a huge boost having both of us home and also him having to entertain himself a bit more with Skye being here. He's also been playing with his cousins more.

So today he went to playgroup on his own for the first time. I was so nervous and walked around with the phone on loud in my hand the whole time. But it turned out he had been playing with all the boys and girls and had had a great time. So now he gets to go by himself two days a week as a start and then maybe more.

I think I'm the one struggling the most to adjust to the new independent wee boy and having a newborn being completely depending on me again. I need to stop and take it all in from time to time, because life doesn't do it for me.

Xx

A waiting game like no other

I struggle to believe that my due date came and went. I was so sure this little baby would make an early entrance just like it's big brother. I have had signs of early labour for the last three weeks and it's been nothing like how I felt leading up to the birth of Lance. I feel very confused and a bit worried about what's to come. My worst fears are to be induced and having the labour forced if the baby isn't ready. So I try to switch off and just take it day by day, but it's easier say than done.

Thankfully Lance helps keep us busy and the time is just flying by. He is growing up so fast now. This is really the first time I have felt like time is running away from me. I think because I have been with him almost every day of his life, I have followed his journey up close and been a big part of it. But now he's becoming a confident wee boy who makes his own decisions and is thirsty for knowledge and experiences. I feel like I'm slowly becoming a by-stander and my role is changing massively. He no longer needs me to guide him, he just needs my encouragement and support.

Hopefully we will meet the new addition to our family very soon and start a whole new busy and crazy adventure. Until then let's keep busy 😊 xx

Update pottytraining

So it's now been two weeks since we started the pottytraining.

He is now basically dry at home and only wears a nappy when he sleeps. We have also extended the training to his grandparents' houses and that's going really well.

I have been trying to get him to sit on a big toilet when we have been out and about, but he's found it really stressful having me holding him so I decided to invest in a foldable toddler toilet seat that I could bring with us when we left the house. This seems to work a lot better for him and today we had our first outing without a nappy and managed two successful toilet visits. I was so relieved and proud of him! Another step closer!

I take him once an hour at the moment and if I see that something is up. He will tell me what he's doing if he has an accident and will try to go every time I take him. But he's not yet learned how to let me know before he needs to go, but I think that might take a while as he is still finding his words and it's obviously a whole new awareness he needs to learn.

I am very happy about his progress and I am so relieved he's taken to it as well as he has and he's learned to control the muscles better.

A few more steps to go but we will get there when we do. Until then plenty of changes of clothes getting brought along 😊👍

Xx

2nd birthday

Lance turned 2 years old yesterday. We started the day with some breakfast in bed, a birthday song and candles to blow out. He was loving it! I am not exaggerating if he was eating for an hour straight, just taking his time and enjoying the luxury.

After he had finish we got ready and headed of to the Blair Drummond safari Park and met up with his grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles. We spent the day running around after the four crazy toddlers and trying to show them all the cool animals they have there. But they all seemed to enjoy themselves.

We headed home for a quick shower and change and met up with everyone at the brewers fayre for some dinner and soft play. An excellent finish to a busy day and I think all the adults were ready for bed at 8 o'clock 😊

A big thank you to everyone who made the effort of congratulating our wee boy and who helped make his birthday special. We really appreciate how loved and cared for he is.

Xx

Pottytraining madness

It's now been 6 days since we started pottytraining (or toilettraining I should say as he doesn't like the potty but sits on a toilet seat instead).

It all started when I noticed he was about to go, so I offered him the toilet and he went and did number 2. So I thought oh well let's just keep going. I had been reading this book about pottytraining in a weekend and I had my plan all set out and was ready to go.

In the afternoon of day 2 we had still not had a pee in the toilet and I was so ready to throw in the towel. I had been wiping the floor what felt like at least a hundred times and I couldn't see any progress. Was he just not ready? Was I doing something wrong? Why was it not working?

I did some more research on the subject but decided to find other sources and methods to see if I could go down another route. After sleeping on it I woke up ready to take it one day at a time. That day I noticed he could hold his bladder a bit longer each time and he would let me know that he was peeing when he did so instead of rushing him off to the toilet straight away we spoke about it and I let him show me where he was supposed to go to pee, but would still not go when he was on the toilet. At least it gave me that little ounce of hope I needed to not give up.

The next day we both needed to get out the house so I put a nappy on him while we went shopping and to an afternoon music class, but decided to put him on the toilet after every meal to try and at least keep it in his mind. That day I could see him actually trying to go and he would tell me what he was trying to do and where it comes from etc. Another small step but oh so important. I still only got him to pee twice in the toilet but he was at least trying.

Day 5 and day 6 have both been very successful in my eyes. We've had number 1s or number 2s almost every time and a couple of dry nappies in between. Today I went back to having him in underwear when he was at home and managed all day without any "accidents".

Once again I have been put in my place by this wee boy, there is no rushing him and the more you try the more he fights it. So as soon as I stopped being so pushy and relaxed a bit, he did it his way and at his pace. I was so set in my plan and what I had read in this book that I completely forgot about adjusting it to Lance. Those first 2 days were so hard but the last 2 have been very rewarding. I'm just going to take baby steps and help him figure out this whole thing. I feel bad for ever doubting him!

Xx

New sibling

The past week I've noticed such a big difference in Lance's approach to other kids and babies. He used to get a bit nervous and was a bit standoffish if they got to close to him. Now all of a sudden he wants to cuddle and kiss everyone. He gets really excited when he sees other kids and babies. Fingers crossed he will be this excited to meet his new sibling when it's time 😊

I'm starting to feel very ready for this baby to come. I can feel myself mentally getting ready for what's to come. I'm sure it will still be a big shock and that I have no idea what I'm in for. But I'm ready to take on the challenge. A couple of weeks ago I was freaking out just thinking about it and felt so overwhelmed by the thought of having two kids. I think it's had a lot to do with getting the nursery prepared and getting bits and pieces ready for the arrival.

I am a bit nervous about how I will cope after this baby, since I struggled to bond with Lance for the first months and the post pardum depression was nagging away at me for the first year at least. I'm hoping for a different experience this time.

I'm just trying to enjoy these last few weeks of being able to bond with Lance and watching him grow and develop every day.

Xx

Sweden holiday

I feel like I have been slacking a bit with my blog posts. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything big to share or had time to collect and analyse thoughts and feelings and therefore I don't write anything at all.

We have just gotten back from a two week holiday in Sweden and me and Lance are taking it very easy and trying to find our rhythm again. It's been so intense, fun, amazing and inspiring that we ended up exhausted. I tried my best to not overwhelm him too much and only take him out on one adventure per day. I forget sometimes that every person he meets leaves new impressions and every situation he's in needs processed. But with him refusing naps and not sleeping very well during the night, he struggled to keep up sometimes and ended up grumpy, confused and very sensitive.
His speech is coming on so fast as well, which is obviously adding to the need for sleep.

I'm so happy Lance has so many cousins the same age, it was great to see him socialise and getting to know them a bit. He is quite reserved and likes to just watch the other kids and take it all in, but he came out his shell a bit more and was dancing and running around with them all.

He looks like a proper wee boy now, definitely not a baby anymore. And to think he's going to be 2 years old in less than a month is crazy. But I'm so excited to see more of his personality come out and getting to know him as he grows up and into his new role as a big brother.

Xx

Swenglish

My little boy is firing out the words right now. It's absolutely amazing to hear him trying out a new word for the first time and keep trying until he gets it right. I couldn't be more proud of him. He's been waiting and waiting and taking it all in and all of a sudden he decided he was ready and started counting to ten in English. All the times we have been counting in Swedish and daddy's home for one week and out comes English. I would love to know what's going on in his little head. All these different words must be flying around and he's trying to figure out why mummy calls things differently to daddy.

I can already hear how some Swedish words are said with an English twang and vice versa and with other words he nails my accent completely. This will be such a fun journey to follow and I'm intrigued to see what comes out next.

Xx

Small steps, big victories

Some things might not seem like a big deal to others but it's the small victories and steps that are the most important to acknowledge and celebrate.

Today we are celebrating Lance going to sleep without any dummies for the first time. I was so nervous about this and have been going back and forward on the subject. I wasn't sure when would be the best time to take them off him and how I would explain it to him. Or if I should just let him decide when he didn't want them anymore. As it happened he started chewing holes in the silicone a couple of days ago and I've had to bin one dummy after another and this morning the last one got binned. So for naptime we didn't have any left and there was no time to go buy new ones. After some whining he managed to get to sleep without it and I could not be more relieved and proud of him.

Another big step he has taken this week is sitting on the toilet without freaking out. He's not keen on the potty so I bought a toilet seat for him instead. On Thursday he sat nicely while I brushed his teeth and yesterday I managed to get him on it three times while we counted to 20. He is still to have a pee on it, but as I wrote earlier it's the small victories that matter. One little step at the time. Building the foundation for success and it will happen! It might not be a big deal to someone else but for us two big and very important steps towards a confident and independent wee boy.

Xx

Testing testing

Over the past few days I have had to run more than I have in the last year. This boy is testing me non stop. I have been so spoilt with a well behaved toddler, who would actually do as he was asked. I always knew this day would come but I was secretly hoping that maybe I was one of the lucky ones.

At least I know that he understands what I'm saying. Anytime I ask him to do something, he gives me a cheeky look and does exactly the opposite. And then looks over his shoulder to make sure I'm watching and hopefully chasing him.

I seriously need to get in shape if he's going to keep this up. And it does not make things any easier being 24 weeks pregnant and having to sporadically sprint off after a toddler. Hopefully it's a phase, please let it be a phase!

Xx

New era

First of all I have to brag about how great Lance has been in his new bed. He sleeps way better and runs to his bed when I say it's bedtime. He absolutely loves it and can dissappear in the middle of the day and I'll find his in his bed cuddling his stuffed toys. He can climb in and out but so far he's not left his bed during the night. I am so impressed with him and so happy he's settled in to his big boy bed.

I've started doing some reading on the potty training subject. I would like for Lance to be nappy free before the baby is due but at the moment he's not ready. So I will see how he is in a few weeks time. I think I have a plan now though, which is half the battle I believe.

We went to a new group today aswell. A 2s club playgroup, it was great to see him play alongside all the kids and he's starting to get a bit more confident. It's a great place for him to learn social skills as it's basically free play. I also met a few mums who have two or more kids and handling it with style so I'm hoping to get some inspiration from them and hopefully some tips on how to divide my time and not drown myself at the same time. They assured me I would be fine. Fingers crossed!

Xx

Mixed emotions

Today I went and bought a toddler bed for Lance. I'm so excited to show it to him, but I'm also a bit sad to see the cot go. That really means he's not a baby anymore.

I'm also starting to feel anxious and nervous about how Lance will take to the new baby. I hope he will not be too jealous and start acting out. It will be tricky to figure out a balance of making sure he gets the attention he needs and deserves while I look after a newborn.

I try to make sure I spend a lot of quality time with him now while I can and also enjoy him at this great stage where he's turning into a boy. In a few months he's not going to be an only child anymore and I'm having a lot of mixed emotions about that. It's hard to imagine loving another baby as much as I love Lance. Hopefully it will all fall into place!

Xx

Tantrums

I can honestly say I had no idea what to expect in terms of tantrums. I had prepared myself for a battle of wills and to stick to my guns and not give in to them. Usually you see toddlers throw tantrums in shops and usually because they want something that they can't have.

Little did I know that you can never foresee when a tantrum is going to introduce itself. It can show up when you least expect it and be caused by the slightest things. And I know I shouldn't but I can't help but laugh cause it's so dramatic and random sometimes that it catches me completely off guard.

Lance has a tendency to start running until he hits something and then tries to bite it, which doesn't always work on a wall or a door so he gets even more frustrated and runs in another direction. If I touch him at all things escalates about 50 levels, so all I can do is sit back and watch the madness unfold and make sure he doesn't hurt himself.

He's not even two yet so I'm not looking forward to what's to come on that front. All I can do is go with the flow I guess.

Xx

Little helper

It's so easy to forget how capable a 20 months old child can be. I try to involve Lance in any day to day activities that are safe and he wants to be involved in. It's such a great way to teach him these things and also show him that he can do whatever he wants to do.

It's easy to just quickly do things without thinking of the opportunity to include Lance or show and tell what I do. But I've realised it's a great way of engaging him while I do housework instead of having to keep an eye and an ear out to know what he's up to.

He loves helping me unload the dishes from the dishwasher, putting the washing in the machine and also shaking the clothes for me when I hang them up. If I am cooking and stirring alot I bring a pot and a spoon out for him on the floor so he can stir aswell. When we go shopping he puts the stuff in the trolley, unloads it all onto the conveyer belt and helps me unpack the bags when we get home. I think his favourite thing is to put his nappies in the bin🚮.

I love seeing the sense of pride on his face when he's helped his mummy and he gets lots of praise for the good work. Long may it continue!

Xx

Guilt free

Being pregnant I feel so much less stressed. I do what I can and have energy for and the rest have to wait. Of course there's things that need done every day and I need to make sure Lance and I get fed properly. But I think I put less pressure on myself and allow myself to accept that it's good enough to do whatever I manage to do that day. I don't feel guilty if I don't do as much as I had hoped.

It would be great if I could hold on to this even after I've had the baby. I can't always do my best at all times every day. It's not realistic.

Xx

New experiences, new levels

As most of you know I am expecting our second child. It's been a rough first trimester and I'm glad to see it go. Fingers crossed for a much better second trimester. Being pregnant and taking care of a toddler is definitely a new level of patience and finding nonexistent energy. Especially in the first trimester with the fatigue and all day sickness and nausea. It's been a challenge and there's been days of constant crying from exhaustion and not knowing when the sickness would stop. Thankfully I feel much better now.

Poor Lance has had to miss some classes that he normally attends and has for sure learned how to entertain himself with a mummy who can't move from the couch without having to run to the loo. He would come with me and copy me hanging over the pan and come give me cuddles on the couch. Such a wee angel some times.

So now we are trying to get into a weekly routine again, trying some new classes to see what he enjoys and what he's bored of now.

I had no idea what I was getting into but I'm sure it will all be worth it in a years time.

Xx

Trying new things

Lance ended up ill with croup and a virus at the same time, so we have been locked up in the house for over a week. He started getting better over the weekend and his energy came rushing back, which was lovely to see. It's not nice when it goes away and all he wants to do is hang on to me. It kind of brought me back to when he was little and I had to carry him everywhere and all the time. As much as I love a cuddle, personal space is something I need and value and I become almost claustrophobic when I have someone that close to me for days on end. Even if it is my son!

So this week we are fit and healthy and going all out. We have been out for morning walks every day and then on to some activity before lunch.
Monday we decided to go check out a so-called toddler group at brewers fayre, however it was as simple as you pay £3 and get to play for an hour and a half, and you can have your breakfast there while the kids play. It was fun, a great wee soft play but it definitely requires company since the mums are not interacting at all.
Tuesday we also tried something new. We went to a musical class at Coco's moo music down at calendar park. Which was lots of fun and Lance really enjoyed himself and all the new experiences. Coco is great, just simply one of those people that kids love instantly.
Wednesday was mini gym day same as every Wednesday. It was great today as alot of people didn't show up so lots of space for us to play and take our time. Lance did three laps around the obstacle course. Usually he does one then gets bored and loses focus.
In the afternoon we went to the milk barn for some late lunch and ice cream. They have a great play area aswell so Lance could play away while I waited on the food. I was trying to get someone to come with us but everyone had plans so on we went on our own.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. It's so nice to get out and socialise abit, even if we are on our own sometimes.

Xx

Forbidden fruit

We have had a few battles lately. It's always the same thing. The obsession right now is the dog's water bowl or her bed.

He's always loved playing with water but for a year and a half he's never bothered about the dog's bowls and I thought to myself that we were lucky to have escaped that battle. Little did I know it was yet to come. Everything needs dipped and bathed in the water 💦. Time out after warning after time out and still no effect. Not even sitting in the same room and repeating the word no a million times will have any effect.

For some reason a new obsession about the dog's bed has emerged. I don't mind them cuddling up together and sharing space but the fact that he pushes her away so he can sit on her bed is just point blank bullying. I've tried to from day one differentiate what's the dog's things and what is Lance's, which has worked great until now.

Patience patience patience and consistency. Alot easier said than done but what other options do I have?

Xx

How fast can you grow

Ones in a while I get taken back by how much Lance seems to grow overnight. I've got the luxury of being with him every day so usually I grow with him or at least I'm there to see the learning curve.

Today I woke up and all of a sudden I have this little dare devil on my hands. He was climbing up on our pillows to throw himself right back, just like that. That should be scary to anyone. There's such a huge amount of trust in something like that. Either he trusts me or he all of a sudden trusts that the bed is not going to move. He found this hilarious and kept doing it over and over again, free falling from the headboard, backwards.

I took him swimming this morning, which we have not done for a few months now. But I decided to get him some arm cushions to see if that helped him be a bit more independent. He was a bit unsure at first but he kept them on which is all I could ask for. They did not work as well as I had hoped but he was having so much fun splashing around, paddling to try and get places. He just loves the water. But seriously when did he all of a sudden get so big he can now stand on the bottom and keep his neck and head over the water?

On top of that he got up and down his wee stol he has to reach the sink when he brushes his teeth all by himself like a little pro.

It's been a morning of surprises for me but lots of fun and experiences for Lance! I can't believe he's 18 months and such a brave wee boy already.

Xx

Ill with a toddler

I have been very ill the last week and the reality of being "couchbound" or even worse "toiletpanbound" when you have a toddler to look after is anything but easy.

Lance started copying me throwing up in the toilet. So at least now he knows how to when it's his turn.

He's not been very amused when I've told him I'm too tired to play with him or just playing in the same area all day. Thankfully my husband has been off work so he could look after Lance. I don't know how I would cope if I had to do it all by myself. Poor Lance would be so bored and fed up. It just seems to stop everything, every little plan you had made, every class you had scheduled.. All scraped when the flu decides it's your turn.

Moving forward now and starting fresh for 2016!

Xx

Going out

When we go away somewhere, whether it's to someone's house or out for dinner I find myself really drained afterwards.

When we are at home I know what Lance can get up to and where he usually goes when he sneaks off. I can predict the outcome of most situations because we have been there and done that before.

But when he realises he's in a new setting with lots of new stuff to discover it's game on. Everything needs to be looked at by picking it up or poking at it. Every new floor area needs a test run. Every knob or handle leads to something else. Everything is new and exciting and all of a sudden energy comes from nowhere. Where's my energy? To keep up with him I could use some of that.

It's really nice and needed to get out and enjoy life and meeting up with people, but sometimes I do weigh up the pros and cons. After that I can decide if I have enough energy and patience to leave the house. Besides I usually never get to actually have a conversation anyway. All I do is try to make sure Lance is ok and not breaking things.

One day I will have an adult conversation again!

Xx