Pyjama party

Me and Lance had an all day pyjama party yesterday. It was just what we needed after the week we'd had. I had barely had any time to just spend with Lance and in the house. So it was really nice to put on our onesies and sit on the floor and play with whatever Lance wanted to play with. We even managed to fit in a Mickey mouse Xmas dvd.

I decided to be extra comfortable and had tesco deliver my messages to the door. It was well worth it! Sure they were a few hours late because of the snow but I didn't mind as I didn't have anything else planned.

And on top of that Lance rewarded me with a long lie. So I feel very refreshed and recharged today. Just what we all needed!

Xx

Make or break

I've had an intense week so far. In an already busy schedule a failed MOT, worn down locking nut key, no replacement nut available, the discs needing replaced aswell as the breakpads since I had to drive around getting parts to get the breaks fixed in the first place, the clutch being worn down, really got me overwhelmed.

I wanted this week to be about spending time with family, since my brother is leaving for his travels today. My dad and stepmum were over from Sweden Monday to Wednesday so I wanted to have as much time as possible with them. My brother released his first album this week so I wanted to be there to help as much as I could and be supportive.

But I think I've managed pretty well to be honest. I've tried to organise things so I could fit everything in that had to be done. I've prioritised family over any classes Lance usually goes to. My husband did all the phoning around and booking the car in and my brother in law has been a huge help trying to figure out this clutch carry on.

So looking back at it now I'm proud of myself for how I handled it all. Sure there was moments of distress and anger when things didn't go to plan. I've been going through a whole list of emotions this week and they are all validated and natural. However it's the ability to move on from them that has surprised me the most. Being able to see the bigger picture, prioritise and let go is an enormous thing for me and ask for help!

It's just been one of those weeks that can make or break you. I'm sure everyone has them.

Xx

Bursting with curiosity

It's absolutely amazing watching a child discover new things and the excitement in their eyes when they find something they really like.

It's a bit sad when I think of myself sometimes being scared of new things, change or the unknown. When did I stop being fearless and became cautious instead?

I hope lance's curiosity and eager to learn stays with him as long as possible. I want to encourage him to stay fearless and hopefully he can carry that with him through life.

What a great relief it would be to not constantly be nervous about change but instead be excited about learning something new. I get way to comfortable in what I know that I forget to seek knowledge and experience where I wouldn't normally look. I need to keep telling myself "what's the worst that could happen? " and "so what if it does? Will that define me?"

I need to get a grip of myself, do something I wouldn't expect of myself and grow as a person. I really want to lead by example and show Lance instead of just telling him. I want to! I can! Just do it!

Xx

A good squeeze

There's nothing like a proper good hug from my son.

When he looks up at me, stretches his arms up to get picked up. Then curls his legs round my waist and grabs a good hold of my arms. Turns his head to the side and rests his cheek on my shoulder. Those following seconds are total bliss. It just shuts everything else out and fills me with love and happiness. There's no place else I would rather be and nothing else I would rather do.

Hugs are totally underestimated!

Xx

Self-defence for babies

I found myself in an uncomfortable situation today. We were at a class and Lance was walking around minding his own business as he does. Just in his own wee world discovering things and investigating how everything works.

Out of nowhere this slightly older boy came right up to Lance and spits in his face. Not just once but twice before his mum intervened. Lance just looked at him and didn't move. He didn't start crying or anything. I was waiting for a reaction but inside I had no idea what I was hoping for him to do.

How do I teach him to stand up for himself without being violent? I honestly think he reacted in the best possible way considering his age. But he could have easily tried to shove him or slap him in the face and I'm honestly struggling to make up my mind about what I would do. I want him to stand up for himself and defend himself if needed, but I never want to promote violence.

That little situation has made me think about these huge topics and I still have no idea what I would do. I guess I just have to play it by ear. I just felt so bad that Lance had to stand there and take it. The boy seemed to have it in for Lance for some reason.

Xx

Not enough

Today I have been going non stop. I have been chasing my own tail all day, feeling like whatever I do or how much I do I will never be able to catch up with everything that needs done.

I always feel abit more stressed when it's getting closer to Davy going away to work again. I have this idea of the things that needs done when he's home and we never manage to do even a quarter of them. I have not yet figured out why, but things just seem to be getting in the way. I think the days are passing by so quickly when you have a kid aswell, keeping up with all the feeds and naps and playgroups.

I have just sat down on the couch but I can't relax cause I feel stressed about everything that needs done. It's like an uneasy feeling in my chest that I can't shake off.

I don't like when I let myself get so worked up over small things. I really need to find an effective way of releasing the feeling and chill. Any suggestions are welcomed!

Xx

State of emergency

Everywhere I look at the moment I see devastation and hate. It's horrible to think what lays ahead. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring and I can see people all around starting to live in fear. It is so sad even though I understand why.

My first thought is to prepare the house if we would end up living in a state of emergency or even worse amongst a war. I'm honestly thinking of stocking up on tinned food, batteries, bottled water and other essentials. Because my first priority is to make sure Lance is ok it really makes me think three steps ahead.

I know it can seem abit drastic and even paranoid but honestly I just need to be able to go to bed knowing I've done everything I can for my family to be ok for now.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best!

Xx