You know that phrase "just give me a minute". I had no idea that it ceases to exist the same minute you have a baby. Your minutes are no longer yours.
I remember a couple of hours after I had Lance and I had been left in the room alone with him. First of all that was so scary and such an eye-opening moment. He was completely relying on me for the first time. Even though he slept for a couple of hours, I found myself expecting him to wake up at any moment so I couldn't relax. I was terrified going to the bathroom for many reasons but I remember thinking what if someone comes and steals him when I'm in there. So I rolled him as close to the door as I could and for the first time I left the door open. And the funny thing is it has not been shut since.
Privacy is long gone, having a shower in peace is no longer a luxury I'm privileged enough to get, finishing a meal in one go. For some reason "just give me a minute" doesn't work on a toddler. But I have the best company anyone could ask for. I really had no idea how much the every day would change and it's almost impossible to imagine before you are there.
That's why it's really important to have some me-time, so I can keep my sanity and individuality. It's so easy to fall into the habit of identifying myself as Lance's mum instead of Sofia. So the few minutes / hours I get to be just me, just Sofia I need to make them count.
Xx
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