Exhausted

It amazes me how just a couple of hours less sleep or a disturbed sleep can affect your whole day.

I still remember the exhaustion I felt when Lance was just born. When I got an hour here and an hour there. The times when he let me sleep for four hours straight were a god send. I started getting used to the tiredness and found it became my normal.

Looking back at it now I can see that I was just a wreck trying to get by the next hour. I had to develop a solid routine to be able to survive the day. My ship was ran so smoothly that when anything disturbed it I got so upset and angry. Which was mostly taken out on my poor husband.

Lance is now 15 months and sleeps at least ten hours most nights and naps for one and two hours around lunchtime. I have returned to functioning like myself and have started being more spontaneous and flexible without having a mental breakdown.

Now I can see how irrational I was sometimes but I can also see that I just got stuck in survival mode for a long time and struggled to get out of it.
Last night Lance woke me up ones and I only had 7 hours sleep, and I feel it today. And if that little bit of disturbed sleep can affect me like this, no wonder I was a mess during the baby stage.

A little perspective can do wonders sometimes!
Xx